I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
she looked like the before picture.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
