so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize