I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
