remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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