You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
