i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
