You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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