i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
