the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize