then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
