I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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