Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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