We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I've blown a few things in my day
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
i believe in u and ur pee
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
