dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
