garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
