What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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