They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
