mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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