I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Dignity is for republicans.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
