hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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