thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
