Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
