the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
