I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm determined to sit on that face.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
