this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Randomize
