I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Rumble strips road head = magical
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
