I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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