We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
