btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize