Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
