maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
