the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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