Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
