No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
