how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize