You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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