Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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