Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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