How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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