If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize