So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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