What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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