how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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