she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
