I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
