if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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