you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
