"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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