That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
