Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
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