3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
