Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
