We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
