ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize