how can u be prego again
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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