bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
