her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
