Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
