I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Randomize
