remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
