My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
