Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
