I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
