My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
