i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
meet me or not, i'm out of control
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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