TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
