508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
