I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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