just come out here and I will go home with you...
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Randomize
