K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
