ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
