Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
