It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Help. Why am I so naked?
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