What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I FOUND THE LEGS
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
