Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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