Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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