She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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